Tweet
Royal Review
By Victor Ludorem
This famous quote from Wim, our Dutch fearless leader at a meeting to discuss why it seems we haven’t won a baseball game since the All-Star Game, “ If it wasn’t for the World Series our clients wouldn’t even be betting this silly sport right now.”……Another brilliant deduction about the grand old game.
Outside the diamond dust, everything is rocking right along at Royal Sports like Leo Mazzone in an old folks home. Saturday began with great anticipation for a big action day and even larger night at the annual Haunted Landhouse (plantation) Party. Talk about action! You boys would’ve thought you died and went to haunted heterosexual heaven from dusk to dawn if you were there. The hottest tropical babes from either side of the equator were in attendance wearing, and I use the term very loosely, no trick – all treat costumes of various lingerie, body paint, or even less. You know what happens to the body-painted costumes of hot-blooded 22 yr.old Venezuelans after dancing and grinding the dance floor for hours. I’ll bet you do!!! Hahaha…… Oh yeah about the betting.
Royal wins three out of four big stands in College when Syracuse went on the road to upset VTech(-17 to 18) in front of the embarrassed Hoakie homeboys. Winning outright on the square destroyed even the faint of heart teaser-bettors laying close to a touchdown on this chalk-choking favorite by a 22-14 score. They didn’t used to call them the Gobblers for nothing. A 6to1 ratio of folks lost out as another road dog Oregon+2 defeated home-standing Washington St. 24-17. Proves a Duck beats a Cougar in the rain every time. Last and not least of the road warriors Saturday was Washington at Arizona St. The Huskies+3.5 iced the Sun Devils on a last second FG to chill the crowd and the pitchforks they rode in on. One game we had shoved up ours was in the Battle of the Mackerel Snappers – Notre Dame vs Boston College. Rumor has it the Pope tuned this one in on satellite, to watch two of his favorite college teams play. QB Brian St. Pierre again drilled a hole in the Royal collection plate with a late scoring strike to cover the 3.5
spread for the Eagles in a 21-17 squeaker. Other rumors circulating have the Pope’s favorite pro team being the Cardinals and his Eminency also denies attending the night’s Halloween Party for political reasons. Not infinitely wise to mix with that many heathens.
Did I mention that we can’t win a friggin baseball game? On the pro side of the ledger we go 2 and 1 as the Bucs-3 inverted the scoreboard on the Vikings 41-14; in the Big Cat ScratchOff the Bengals +3 clawed the Lions 31-27; and San Diego charged the Bills with Fluitie’s Revenge on a last minute scramble for a TD by their ‘flakey’ QB. The party throbbed on till the sun came up but no hangover was bad enough to erase the memory of Royal’s own Marty in a bikini, painted solid gold from head to toe like Jill Masterson, the chick in ‘Goldfinger’.
By Victor Ludorem
This famous quote from Wim, our Dutch fearless leader at a meeting to discuss why it seems we haven’t won a baseball game since the All-Star Game, “ If it wasn’t for the World Series our clients wouldn’t even be betting this silly sport right now.”……Another brilliant deduction about the grand old game.
Outside the diamond dust, everything is rocking right along at Royal Sports like Leo Mazzone in an old folks home. Saturday began with great anticipation for a big action day and even larger night at the annual Haunted Landhouse (plantation) Party. Talk about action! You boys would’ve thought you died and went to haunted heterosexual heaven from dusk to dawn if you were there. The hottest tropical babes from either side of the equator were in attendance wearing, and I use the term very loosely, no trick – all treat costumes of various lingerie, body paint, or even less. You know what happens to the body-painted costumes of hot-blooded 22 yr.old Venezuelans after dancing and grinding the dance floor for hours. I’ll bet you do!!! Hahaha…… Oh yeah about the betting.
Royal wins three out of four big stands in College when Syracuse went on the road to upset VTech(-17 to 18) in front of the embarrassed Hoakie homeboys. Winning outright on the square destroyed even the faint of heart teaser-bettors laying close to a touchdown on this chalk-choking favorite by a 22-14 score. They didn’t used to call them the Gobblers for nothing. A 6to1 ratio of folks lost out as another road dog Oregon+2 defeated home-standing Washington St. 24-17. Proves a Duck beats a Cougar in the rain every time. Last and not least of the road warriors Saturday was Washington at Arizona St. The Huskies+3.5 iced the Sun Devils on a last second FG to chill the crowd and the pitchforks they rode in on. One game we had shoved up ours was in the Battle of the Mackerel Snappers – Notre Dame vs Boston College. Rumor has it the Pope tuned this one in on satellite, to watch two of his favorite college teams play. QB Brian St. Pierre again drilled a hole in the Royal collection plate with a late scoring strike to cover the 3.5
spread for the Eagles in a 21-17 squeaker. Other rumors circulating have the Pope’s favorite pro team being the Cardinals and his Eminency also denies attending the night’s Halloween Party for political reasons. Not infinitely wise to mix with that many heathens.
Did I mention that we can’t win a friggin baseball game? On the pro side of the ledger we go 2 and 1 as the Bucs-3 inverted the scoreboard on the Vikings 41-14; in the Big Cat ScratchOff the Bengals +3 clawed the Lions 31-27; and San Diego charged the Bills with Fluitie’s Revenge on a last minute scramble for a TD by their ‘flakey’ QB. The party throbbed on till the sun came up but no hangover was bad enough to erase the memory of Royal’s own Marty in a bikini, painted solid gold from head to toe like Jill Masterson, the chick in ‘Goldfinger’.