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Royal Review
By Victor Ludorem
Art imitates life. Last weeks palette of action reminds me of my day-off, a secluded beach excursion with two lovely Dutch chicks, Valeri and Inga. Sun, fun, sand, irony and adventure all rolled into an episode I title ‘Peanut Butter and Jelly-fish.’ Similarities abound starting slow, heating up through the day and scoring after dark.
It was no picnic early in the day either as Royal got pounded when the Hurricanes –7 slammed into Tallahassee to place a Seminole-style whopping on Bobby Bowden, 49-27. ‘Survivors’ of this storm all had one thing in common, reinforced bunkers full of Miami wagers. Then to make matters worse, a 12to1 ratio of bettors packed sand in our shorts with Michigan –11.5 versus Purdue. The Wolverines had to clamp down and shut out the visitors in the second half before a victorious Homecoming crowd of 110,000 people could each collect $2 from Royal Sports. The Royal linemaker could use ‘a couple of Boilermakers’ after grading this disaster. “Pass the sunscreen ladies, we’re getting burned at this point.”
Ahhh the therapeutic benefits of SPF on nubile young bodies feels even better when they play “Eli’s Coming”, on the loudspeakers in Oxford, Mississippi every time Peyton’s lil’ brother leads the Rebels on a march to pay dirt. That’s just what he did as an 8-point dog late in the fourth quarter to stun Alabama 27-24. A 20to1 ratio of Bama-backers was not happy about this but we sure were. The only guy near as lucky as yours truly on Saturday, was Auburn kicker Damon Duval who kicked the game winning FG three weeks in a row. This tough act to follow was the main reason the Tigers snapped their 7 game losing streak to Florida 23-20. The extra +25.5 point spread was just a gift from all those with alligator wallets. The next huge decision was choosing between Valeri and Inga, as contrasting as the game plans in the Fresno St.-Colorado St. matchup, a huge decision in it’s own right. The Bulldogs –8 filled up the airways while the Rams countered with their churning ground attack. 8to1 ratio of losers watched this most tenacious Fresno team - tie the game at the end of regulation and then win but fail to cover the game in OT. Victor’s decision was much easier, remembering the great words of ‘PrimeTime’ Deion Sanders….”I’ll take both!!”
At some point in the turquoise water the girls “Both, I tell ya” got stung on the chest by a ‘kwallen’ or jellyfish in your country. “That can happen when you don’t wear your top” I tried like Helen Keller to tell them earlier. Royal was also as fortunate as I, in the Pros going 3-0 in big games. The TITans31 Bucs28 in OT was good, the Rams15 Giants14
was better and the best was Sunday night as the Jets+3 surprised the favored Dolphins 21 to 17. But nothing was as good as Victor opening up a PBJ and gently as Florence Nightingale rubbing “kwallen-cure” with each hand on the afflicted areas. When an aging female party-pooping beachcomber questioning this practice asked, “Since when is Peanut Butter become a cure for jellyfish sting?” I replied….. “ Now is a good time!”
By Victor Ludorem
Art imitates life. Last weeks palette of action reminds me of my day-off, a secluded beach excursion with two lovely Dutch chicks, Valeri and Inga. Sun, fun, sand, irony and adventure all rolled into an episode I title ‘Peanut Butter and Jelly-fish.’ Similarities abound starting slow, heating up through the day and scoring after dark.
It was no picnic early in the day either as Royal got pounded when the Hurricanes –7 slammed into Tallahassee to place a Seminole-style whopping on Bobby Bowden, 49-27. ‘Survivors’ of this storm all had one thing in common, reinforced bunkers full of Miami wagers. Then to make matters worse, a 12to1 ratio of bettors packed sand in our shorts with Michigan –11.5 versus Purdue. The Wolverines had to clamp down and shut out the visitors in the second half before a victorious Homecoming crowd of 110,000 people could each collect $2 from Royal Sports. The Royal linemaker could use ‘a couple of Boilermakers’ after grading this disaster. “Pass the sunscreen ladies, we’re getting burned at this point.”
Ahhh the therapeutic benefits of SPF on nubile young bodies feels even better when they play “Eli’s Coming”, on the loudspeakers in Oxford, Mississippi every time Peyton’s lil’ brother leads the Rebels on a march to pay dirt. That’s just what he did as an 8-point dog late in the fourth quarter to stun Alabama 27-24. A 20to1 ratio of Bama-backers was not happy about this but we sure were. The only guy near as lucky as yours truly on Saturday, was Auburn kicker Damon Duval who kicked the game winning FG three weeks in a row. This tough act to follow was the main reason the Tigers snapped their 7 game losing streak to Florida 23-20. The extra +25.5 point spread was just a gift from all those with alligator wallets. The next huge decision was choosing between Valeri and Inga, as contrasting as the game plans in the Fresno St.-Colorado St. matchup, a huge decision in it’s own right. The Bulldogs –8 filled up the airways while the Rams countered with their churning ground attack. 8to1 ratio of losers watched this most tenacious Fresno team - tie the game at the end of regulation and then win but fail to cover the game in OT. Victor’s decision was much easier, remembering the great words of ‘PrimeTime’ Deion Sanders….”I’ll take both!!”
At some point in the turquoise water the girls “Both, I tell ya” got stung on the chest by a ‘kwallen’ or jellyfish in your country. “That can happen when you don’t wear your top” I tried like Helen Keller to tell them earlier. Royal was also as fortunate as I, in the Pros going 3-0 in big games. The TITans31 Bucs28 in OT was good, the Rams15 Giants14
was better and the best was Sunday night as the Jets+3 surprised the favored Dolphins 21 to 17. But nothing was as good as Victor opening up a PBJ and gently as Florence Nightingale rubbing “kwallen-cure” with each hand on the afflicted areas. When an aging female party-pooping beachcomber questioning this practice asked, “Since when is Peanut Butter become a cure for jellyfish sting?” I replied….. “ Now is a good time!”