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Royal Review
by Victor Ludorem
This past week Royal Sports experienced another topsy turvey week of
football action. The mere shape of the pigskin provides for many
unpredictable bounces throughout the course of a season. This weekend was no
exception as bettors came at us with more fists of fury than a Bruce Lee
double feature.
The mighty Horn Frogs of Texas Christian were the choice of the betting
public as they invaded the Chesapeake shores looking to run all over the
Navy Midshipmen. Heisman trophy candidate Ledamian Tomlinson had a subpar
(by his standards) performance only gaining a mile and half in shredding the
nation's finest sailors like Jackie Joiner attending a TailHook convention.
While the Frogs shut out the swabbies the lay was still too large to
overcome.
The now determined masses invoked their wrath on us via the burnt orange
Longhorns from Texas. The tables turned as the steers rode herd on the
cowboys for a change. The hometown fraternity boys in Austin took turns
lathering up the visitors from Oklahoma State. This gangbang took the
Cowboys by surprise in a starring role. This game was not as close as the
42-7 score might indicate. Had the home side of the scoreboard not
malfunctioned the outcome would have been much worse.
Like in the 'Back to the Future' movie, bettors had already seen tomorrow's
sports page in correctly forecasting the final score of the Colorado State -
Nevada Reno. The collegiate Rams battered their opponent into submission
much in the style of their professional brethren playing on Sunday. Coach
Sonny Lubick's 42 returning lettermen practically each scored a point in
route to an easy 45-14 victory. Only 4 people in the world apparently didn't
rent the video. The rest however were quite victorious.
Royal Sports enthusiastically answered each and every call on Sunday hoping
to get some of our money back. Thrilling games galore were the order of the
day. The bettors were very confident of the Colts having a Monday night
hangover facing a staunch Bills defense in Buffalo. They all jumped on the
Bills team bus headed for Ralph Wilson Stadium. Few noticed Ralph Kramden
driving though, as the bus headed over the falls some fifteen miles on the
Erie Canal. Peyton Manning came back late to whip them with a switch off
the family tree.
Did I say enthusiastically answering the phone? How about the Redskins
scalping the Buccaneers? Somebody needs to get Keyshawn Johnson some finger
paints for his new found form of expression. He seems more suited for
painting himself into a corner rather than separating from a cornerback.
Neon Deion's punt return in OT sealed the deal on KJ's weekly art lessons.
The bettors got VanGoghed on this raw deal.
Culpepper to Moss, sounds like a Sherwin Williams color for sour grapes. The
Minnesota Vikings ruined a nice comeback for Royal by declawing the Lions
31-24. Randy Moss scorched their secondary for 3 TDs as Detroit was just
not enough to fade the Norsemen. The public drove this line to switch
favorites as the Lions opened at -2 at home and closed at +2 by kickoff.
Drinks must have been on the house in Valhalla after everybody got paid on
this one.
by Victor Ludorem
This past week Royal Sports experienced another topsy turvey week of
football action. The mere shape of the pigskin provides for many
unpredictable bounces throughout the course of a season. This weekend was no
exception as bettors came at us with more fists of fury than a Bruce Lee
double feature.
The mighty Horn Frogs of Texas Christian were the choice of the betting
public as they invaded the Chesapeake shores looking to run all over the
Navy Midshipmen. Heisman trophy candidate Ledamian Tomlinson had a subpar
(by his standards) performance only gaining a mile and half in shredding the
nation's finest sailors like Jackie Joiner attending a TailHook convention.
While the Frogs shut out the swabbies the lay was still too large to
overcome.
The now determined masses invoked their wrath on us via the burnt orange
Longhorns from Texas. The tables turned as the steers rode herd on the
cowboys for a change. The hometown fraternity boys in Austin took turns
lathering up the visitors from Oklahoma State. This gangbang took the
Cowboys by surprise in a starring role. This game was not as close as the
42-7 score might indicate. Had the home side of the scoreboard not
malfunctioned the outcome would have been much worse.
Like in the 'Back to the Future' movie, bettors had already seen tomorrow's
sports page in correctly forecasting the final score of the Colorado State -
Nevada Reno. The collegiate Rams battered their opponent into submission
much in the style of their professional brethren playing on Sunday. Coach
Sonny Lubick's 42 returning lettermen practically each scored a point in
route to an easy 45-14 victory. Only 4 people in the world apparently didn't
rent the video. The rest however were quite victorious.
Royal Sports enthusiastically answered each and every call on Sunday hoping
to get some of our money back. Thrilling games galore were the order of the
day. The bettors were very confident of the Colts having a Monday night
hangover facing a staunch Bills defense in Buffalo. They all jumped on the
Bills team bus headed for Ralph Wilson Stadium. Few noticed Ralph Kramden
driving though, as the bus headed over the falls some fifteen miles on the
Erie Canal. Peyton Manning came back late to whip them with a switch off
the family tree.
Did I say enthusiastically answering the phone? How about the Redskins
scalping the Buccaneers? Somebody needs to get Keyshawn Johnson some finger
paints for his new found form of expression. He seems more suited for
painting himself into a corner rather than separating from a cornerback.
Neon Deion's punt return in OT sealed the deal on KJ's weekly art lessons.
The bettors got VanGoghed on this raw deal.
Culpepper to Moss, sounds like a Sherwin Williams color for sour grapes. The
Minnesota Vikings ruined a nice comeback for Royal by declawing the Lions
31-24. Randy Moss scorched their secondary for 3 TDs as Detroit was just
not enough to fade the Norsemen. The public drove this line to switch
favorites as the Lions opened at -2 at home and closed at +2 by kickoff.
Drinks must have been on the house in Valhalla after everybody got paid on
this one.