help/advice

[Diaz]

My apologies if this topic does not belong here, I just was not sure where to post this.

I just got on the net and first I must say that this a very nice board. Lots of people trying to help each other. Unfortunately I was not able to benefit as I just registered today and haven't been around to take advantage of the picks.

I am seeking some advice. I guess I am now just a statistic. One of many gamblers who have lost their shirt. I am in some serious debt; serious to my standards at least. 25k. All via Credit Card and most of it because of gambling.
After some consideration, and knowing some of the repercusions, I am thinking of filing for bankruptcy. Again, I may be way off by posting this here but if anybody has experience or knows somebody that has or has tried to dismiss gambling debts by filing for bankruptcy please advice. Please. At the risk of sounding even more somber, I feel as though this problem is more that I can handle. I have managed to keep my addiction hidden from friends and familly which actually makes it seem worse as I have nobody to talk to about it
Please don't respond to tell me that I shouldn't have bet over my head, etc. I know this now. In fact, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to type this. It is like I am finally admiting it to myself.

Anyway, I have a familly and I can't pay off this debt. I live in California. If anybody knows anything about this thank you.

Finally, everybody be carefull. Especially the young guys. I will not preach to you and tell you not to gamble. I won't do this because chances are that I will again, although believe me when I tell you that I will not charge one cent to my Credit Cards, ever. Just be carefull.

MR. R. Diaz

[walleyek]

You must seek compulsive gambling therapy. All signs from your post point to this. If you don't you will lose more than your 25K, i.e. your family.

[Cons]

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe California is the one state where credit card gambling debts are not recoverable. Didn't some woman get them all cancelled? Wasn't she from Cali?

[Rawhide]

Have you tried Consumer Credit Counseling? I believe they can put you on a long term payment plan (up to 5 years) in which you can substantially lower your monthly payments while at the same time substanially loweing your interests or in many cases, cancelling your interest while you are on the long term repayment plan.

[brooksie]

Mr. Diaz,

There are an awful lot of issues at play here. First of all, a California woman has gotten credit card debt forgiven - but gambling debts are not enforcible in California.

Which brings us to the moral question: Do you have a right, morally, to have that debt forgiven? If you had won, would you have accepted the books using a legal technicality to not pay you? Of course not. But this is a moral question and it is one only you can answer.

25k in credit card debt is a big number - depending on your income, I can understand you contemplating drastic measures. i agree that Consumer Credit counsellors could help you determine if a payment schedule that you can live with can be worked out.

My final point is on you saying that you will probably gamble again. Please get professional help and reconsider. Alcoholics cannot "have just one" and you cannot gamble. You do have a serious problem and you cannot entertain the notion that you will someday bet again "I just won't use a credit card".

Not to preach, but if you want help, you have to come to grips with how serious your problem is. You must never bet again.

You have my good wishes as you deal with this issue. Please let us know what you decide.

[bighands]

mr diaz
you already have done the hardest thing and that is admitting you have a problem. i, like you, have a problem but mine is with booze. thank God i have been sober for 10 years. there are good days and bad days still. it is not easy but with help and support you will never be alone. tell your family your situation and your plan on fixing it and they will open their arms and hearts to you. take a day at a time and never give up.you can beat it but not alone.
God Bless and you will find the peace you are searching for....

[bighands]

mr diaz,
you have already done the hardest thing and that is admitting to yourself that you have a problem. i like you deal with addiction everyday.mine is booze. thank God i have been sober for 10 years but without help and support it never would have happened. you need to get help and get with a support group...with that you will never be alone.
tell your family your problem and your plan to fix it and they will welcome you with open arms and hearts. take a day at a time and get help. with God's blessing you will be granted the peace you are looking for...never give up. you are not alone anymore. God Bless.

[morgan131]

Mr. Diaz,
Dont do it. I did it 10 years ago due to gambling debts and it is the worst mistake I have ever made. My lawyer in the state I am in told me it does not matter how you lost the money. The bottom line is its gone and you cant pay it back.
You should seeking counseling for a gambling addiction.
You can work through it, but it will not be easy. Looking back at the mistakes I made this is the advice I would give and I know this is some of the best advice you will get.
First, tell you wife. It will be hard, but hug her, tell her you love her and you need her help to work through this.
Next, you and your wife get in a good church. Pray to God for strength and guidance. Read and study the new testament of the Bible. Ask God to forgive you and to help you work throught this. I know this sounds like I am some sort of religious kook, but this is what will work. Third, do not file bankruptcy. You may have to get a part time job and get on a budget, but do not file. Call your creditors and tell them you will pay as much as you can as soon as you can. I know what your going through so if you need to talk further post a message here and ask for me for my email address.
This will not be easy, but you will be out of it before you know and you will not have to file. If you are willing to work your way out.
One side note. Only file bankruptcy to save your house and for no other reason.
God bless you and let me know if you would like to talk further.

Morgan131

[club soda kenny]

You may want to call 800-GAMBLER, a hotline for people who find themselves with gambling related problems. I considered calling myself once, my problem was not due to money lost but rather the time spent handicapping and watching games. I neglected the things that should have been important in my life and lost a wonderful girlfriend(since replaced with an even more wonderful wife).

As mentioned earlier you made the first step,
the 25K while a sizeable figure could have become 50k or worse had you not realized your problem. Good luck and make that phone call, there are people who can help you with both your gambling and financial problems.

If that number doesn't work for any reason, check your local yellow pages for an active number.

[reno]

Hopefully, Gambler's Anonymous can help you.
But they sure didn't help Art Schlicter.

Hell, virtually everyone has at least one addiction. Mine are Haagen-Dazs ice cream (I eat at least a pint every day)and sex. Yep, just like Wade Boggs and Bubba Clinton, I'm a sex addict. When I lived in San Diego, I spent so much of my money on Tijuana hookers that the town was thinking of erecting a statue to honor me for my philanthropy. And since I'll be in the Philippines in February, half my baseball earnings will go to the bar girls in Manila and Angeles City.

And I hate to say it, but I think I'm addicted to Bettorswsorld. If I miss looking at the site for a day, I suffer severe withdrawal symptoms.

[STING]

I think Credit Counselling is your best option. In the whole scheme of things, 25K is not a lot when you consider nowadays that is norm thinking about college students, law students etc...owing so much more than this. This may be a lot to you though depending upon your presnet income. You may wish to seek short-term work where you can put in 70 plus hours a week (30 in OT) depending on your skills and where you live such jobs are readily available. Do this for a year, cut your spendings, and devote most of your earnings to paying off this debt. This is what many graduates of law school end up doing once they realize they will not be starting off with the $100,000 they thought would be there when they came out and now are faced with loans exceeding over 60K. Suffice it to say, you don't need to be gambling any more.

[Cons]

Yeah, Brooksie's right. It's a moral dilemma, but as a California resident you can have the gambling debts cancelled from your credit card. That lady I spoke about had amassed a huge debt in credit card bets, and I believe the courts ruled that she does not have to pay back one penny.

From my point of view, I always make wire/check deposits, and I keep what I win, while at the same time I will give away what I lose. My winnings outweigh my losses, so I make a steady profit, but if at any time this 5-year trend gets reversed then I will have no qualms about it. It I win, I win, and if I lose, I lose. It's supposed to be a fair game, and I will play it that way.

But technically, as a Cali resident, you should be able to get the debt cancelled. It's your call if you want to do so. If your family is at risk though then I would definitely follow that route.

[This message has been edited by Cons (edited 01-11-2000).]

[Diaz]

Thanks for the replies.

I realize that a problem has developed and I will address that issue, for the benefit of my family and myself. However, I need to deal with the monetary issue; this is a priority for me right now because the sooner I figure out what to do, the sooner I will have peace of mind.

Cons raised an intersting issue, one that I have researched heavily for the last 24 hrs. The suit of the woman in Marin County, California never went to trial. All of her debts, however, where pardoned. Last month, December 7th, another man in California refused to pay off credit card debts incurred via online gambling. Obviously its too soon for a resolution on this one.

As I indicated in my first post, I was/am willing to pay the consequences for my stupidity. Bankruptcy is a major decision, one that will probably follow me forever. The thought that gambling debts in California are not eforced is something that really interests me. I can say this here because you guys don't know me personally. I would be embarrassed to death if I ever met any of you personally, because morally, as brooksie said, this is wrong. I agree. But the thought of going to bed at night without this on my shoulders is something that I would kill for. You have to me in my shoes to understand.

Anyway, I will look into this. The last thing I want is publicity and if that is what this entails then forget it. My wife doesn't know about this habit of mine and if she found out about it somehow then it would eliminate the trust that I have fought to get from her over the years.

Thanks for all the advice. You guys are good people. I'll look into the gambling help, credit counseling etc.

Morgan131, if you don't mind, please post your email address.


Mr. R. Diaz

[stardust]

First - remmeber that in the big picture of life 25K is not all that. Sure it IS a lot to win or lose, but it is a $12.50 an hour job for a year. If you live another 25 years it is less than $20 per week. Keep it in perspective.

Second - Consumer Credit Counseling is a good place to start. See what plan they can work out for you. Just remember they are funded in WHOLE BY THE CREDIT CARD INDUSTRY. That means they have a vested interest in getting you to pay. Seems that gets overlooked in their commercials. DON'T SIGN ANYTHING before you carefully consider the terms at home.

Third - look at the whole plan with your wife and decide what is best for you. In truth Chapter 7 may be the best choice. You can't make that decision until you have all the facts.

I feel for you buddy, because I got crushed my first foray into wagering. It hurt - it was expensive. I overcame it and now am a social gambler - betting $25 - 100 and having a set limit for the year. My wife knows all about my betting and as long as I don't come around asking for more - she views it as recreational.

Take a deep breath - look to the future and straighten things out as best you can. As always - Good Luck,

Sonny

[PaulieDV]

Diaz,

It sounds to me you will pursue having the credit card debt wiped out. Please do not do this. I know you said "But the thought of going to bed at night without this on my shoulders is something that I would kill for. You have to me in my shoes to understand.

Diaz, about six years ago I was in your shoes and this will NOT solve your problem. Yes, it is a problem and you need to deal with your problem or you will do it again. Have a long talk with your wife and yes, you will destroy any trust she has in you. However, she may surprise you (mine did!!). Work through the problem by seeking credit counseling and pay back every cent and don't ever forget how you feel now.

As Reno said everyone has at least one addiction and you must be able to control this addiction. It is a lifetime event it won't go away if you are able to abolish the debts, it will always be there. Seek some type of help; be it the Church, Gamblers Anonymous but get help. It is impossible to do this alone. If you have any questions you can contact me at pdel5@yahoo.com

Best of luck and remember you can and will get through this.